It's a world of difference across one street in San Rafael. On one side sits the upscale Marin Academy, a private college preparatory high school. Directly across from it, in a nondescript ranch-style building, is the Fifth Avenue Convalescent Hospital. This is the story about Emily and Melvin.
Melvin Sweeney wheels over to us as we enter his room at Fifth
Avenue. The 89 year-old former musician, sporting the familiar red and gold San Francisco
49ers logo on the front of his sweatshirt, extends his hand in greeting. He's not sure
who we are but he's pretty enthusiastic all the same.
We tell him we're here to do a story on Emily and him for our website. Oh Emily, he says, let me tell you about her. Melvin, we learn almost immediately, is not shy. He points to a photo-studded bulletin board nearby.
"That's her," he says, "and her brother Max. She's been visiting me for a few years."
Three years to be exact.
Melvin consults his notebook to see how long he's been in Fifth Avenue; September 17, 2004. Before that, the SF native lived with his two sons, William and Lyle but then he got too frail and now he's here. With his wife, Wilma, he also raised three daughters, twins Frances and Florence and Rose. All three of his daughters, and Wilma, have since passed away.
"That's Rose," he says quietly pointing to a framed photo sitting on his dresser.
She's lovely we reply. We notice the date of her death- written just under the photo- February, 2008.
But Melvin doesn't dwell on melancholy for long; he's already moved on to another subject; music. It seems to be his passion. He used to play the saxophone, the clarinet and the oboe before time destroyed his ability to play.
We discover Melvin's other passion; the San Francisco 49ers. He's been a fan for a very long time. In fact, in 1949, he was hired to play in the 49ers Swing Band. Melvin explains-
"That was just a bunch of fun. When they organized [the team], they didn't know what was going on and they didn't know how much of a crowd they were going to get. So what do they do, they hired a band so people would think they would get their money's worth and come to the game!"
We burst out laughing, enjoying the irony of the 49ers once having to practically bribe the public to attend their games.
Emily Cohodes arrives just as Melvin is regaling us with this wonderful nugget of 49er nostalgia. As they warmly greet one another, you can't help but notice the contrast between old man and young woman.
How did she decide to become a volunteer and come to meet Melvin?
Emily says she was a freshman at Marin Academy across the street, and once she was leaving school one day and happened to glance at Fifth Avenue and noticed all these people with their faces pressed against the window looking out. She said it just moved her.
"I just feel like we're [students] so close by and there is really no communication between the two. There are so many people here who just want someone to talk to and there's so many people over there who don't even realize what this building is."
She found out about an organization called Love Is The Answer (LITA). LITA pairs volunteers with elderly shut-ins. It's been around since 1975 and has volunteers in 48 different facilities in Marin. Emily signed up and has been visiting Melvin and others here, ever since.
Over at the LITA offices, Executive Director Aline Shaw is buried- literally- in holiday gift donations. She says families, friends and organizations donate about 1,500 gifts every year for the elderly residents. There are piles of blankets on the table, and gift bags crammed with bathrobes, slippers and stuffed animals lined up on the floor. Aline says the Holiday Gift program is important-
"Sometimes this is the only present they will receive at all," she says.
Aline has been with LITA for four years. She, Volunteer Coordinator Gerrda Focardi and two part-time office volunteers comprise the staff. As Aline sorts through the Christmas gift bags, Gerrda is interviewing a potential volunteer, Lauren Fetterman, in a nearby office. Lauren, however, is not alone. Her dog Satchel is sitting at her feet.
Aline says that pets are a big part of the LITA. Some of the residents really love to have animals visit-
"A lot of people, when they enter a facility, have to leave their pets behind."
In fact, she says, Emily's dog, Indy, has just won the Rusty Award. It's an annual award- named for one of LITA's original pet volunteers- which recognizes an animal who has been with the program three years or more.
Back at Fifth Avenue, Melvin is holding court. He can no longer play an instrument, but there is nothing wrong with his voice and he demonstrates by bursting into an a cappella rendition of Dancing With Tears In My Eyes.
"I'm dancing with tears in my eyes, because the girl in my arms isn't you," he croons.
Emily, smiles as she watches Melvin belt out the Swing standard. Clearly she has heard it before.
We talk a bit about the future. What are her plans for college? What does she want to do?
It turns out Emily has applied Early Decision to Stanford (she's still waiting to hear) and wants to study to be a Veterinarian. That makes sense considering that horses are her passion. Melvin points to a photo of Emily on her horse, Scott.
Melvin knows Emily will be gone next year, and although he says he will miss her very much, he realizes how important college is. And he's got Max.
"Max, I love that boy!" he exclaims.
Max is Emily's brother. With her encouragement, Max has also been over many times to visit with Melvin. Emily is trying to get him to branch out and visit some other residents, but for now he's just comfortable with Melvin. Max has cerebral palsy.
Emily encourages friends to get involved too. During her visits with Melvin, she was struck by how many other residents seemed lonely. So she organized project day where she and her good friend, Lauren, will show up once a week and lead the seniors through a craft project. Last week it was cut-out snowflakes and we all walk over to the dining room to admire them.
Along the route, many of the residents call out hello to Emily. It's evident how much joy she has brought to their lives.
Melvin also seems to be very popular among the staff and residents, and we tell him so-
And Emily, well she's got the gift of love.
Details-
Emily Cohodes has been selected as a candidate for Heart of Marin Award, an annual award given to individuals and organizations that show excellence in leadership and volunteerism.
LITA currently serves about 48 facilities and has a pool of about 160 volunteers in the One-to-One Friends program.
They also have another program called Bridging Generations. It involves families who wish to volunteer and Marin school classroom programs. Bridging Generations has about 240 members.
For volunteer opportunities, please contact LITA or Aline Shaw by phone 415 472-5482 or by email.
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